2009-12-24 / 11:45 p.m.

Christmas eve doesn't even feel like it's Christmas anymore. Christmas eve is ten or fifteen years ago in my grandmother's living room with the curtains pulled closed and the couch pulled toward the fire. Christmas eve is running and hiding in the complete black behind those curtains with five or six cousins only just a little older and being so bloody excited that we can't pay any attention to Animaniacs on the TV and we can't sit still and we can't stop shuffling.
It is not being drunk and home alone and it is most definitely not about wishing that everybody would be here instead of everywhere else.
Everybody used to be here. Here.