2009-12-06 / 1:52 a.m.

"I know you're feeling down lately. Don't let it get to you."

So I took a drive because sleeping was the other option and found myself with the petrol light shining orange and the moon so bright that I didn't dare to flick on my full lights.

My tongue is numb and my head and my heart and my limbs and all adjoining synapses still hurt.
No doctor has listened and understood yet and I am serious when I tell you that I believe that whatever it is that has been eating me for six months now is actually killing me. Physical pain - I'm done with it.

Two years ago, I would've accepted it, but for now I'm scared and alone and I can't believe, I mean I can't fucking BELIEVE that I am in this position.