Appearance, perception and first impressions. I feel sad and I feel alone and I feel broken and pained. I met an American lady in the supermarket on Monday. She talks to me about human emotion and the impact of every little thing on our psychological wellbeing without either of us really ever admitting to anything. We were by the make-up stands and I thought she had tears in her eyes but I didn't ask. I knew it best not to. She told me that her dad always said to fake it 'til you make it. There's only so much faking a person can ever do. She's an alcoholic and she has a family and she's quirky and difficult to predict. She pretends to be a mother and a wife.
I sat on her kitchen countertop just two years ago, and she leaned in close and sang some of The Eagles' Hotel California. "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave." She nodded afterward, looking straight into my eyes. "You know what I mean." I did. I do.
It was her birthday on Monday, and I never even knew.
