2009-09-03 / 6:53 p.m.

Time passes and little things change. But little changes.
I am not fourteen and I am not angry with the world. I am twenty and I am in awe and disappointed. Not in between. But both.
I dyed my hair purple turquoise pink blue green rainbow rainbow rainbow.
I smashed my first ever guitar and it sits in the backyard covered in rubble and rain, and I try to reconcile myself with the fact that time passes and it's not wrong to want to move on. It always feels so wrong.

I am sick. I am so very sick. I spent forty-five minutes with my GP yesterday morning. It rained and it rained and it rained and she told me that I'm not really in any sort of physical pain but I am suffering from a lot of mental anguish and that the only rational course of action is to send me to a psychologist. One that can fix me and relieve my 'pain'.

Fuck that. Fuck her.

She said it's soul destroying to not be able to help me.

I can't stop crying. I am not crazy.

I am stuck. Nobody believes me. I don't know what to do.

It's all wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

Time's passed and I have changed and things have changed but I'm still stuck fighting a war that I thought I'd won, and I don't feel so in awe of everything anymore.
Just disappointed.