My dad had to make a delivery to some far off part of the country and my mother made a dash to go with him. They'll drive for about eight hours straight and I don't even know what they'll talk about because all they ever seem to do is argue. I guess it's all I can imagine anybody being able to do after so many years of marriage. That, or a silence that surpasses all sorts of love and understanding. But I'm not sure if they've really made it there, or if they're gone beyond that part. I'd like to think that they'll decide to stop on the middle of some back country lane and lie out on the bonnet of the car for a while just staring at the stars and talking about what they're going to do with the rest of their lives. I wonder do you even wonder much about the rest of your life when you get to that age, or do you just give up. I think a lot of people just give up. I'd like to keep right on imagining all the adventures that are still left to come. They won't be back 'til about four or five in the morning and it leaves me so much time alone in my house that I don't even know what to do with. The first time in years that the night's been mine and my home's been mine to be spent and used in whatever way I see fit. I guess most people my age would've thrown a party and gotten drunk and forgotten about it the next day. Sure, I considered it, but it didn't really sit with me as the kind of idea I really want to entertain anymore. I sat on my back step a while with my guitar and serenaded my dogs and the night and the first constellation I saw when I looked up was the first one I see every time, and it made me glad to know that some things will never, ever change. I've been spending more and more time talking to a man I've not spent much time with, and tonight I wish he was here because we have so much left to talk about. Conversation over the phone leaves too much and too little to the imagination at the same time. I didn't think all that much of him at first, to be honest. We hit it off, but it seemed we ran out of momentum after a while. He used to break the silence with "Tell me something" and I eventually ran out of things to tell. We've taken to phonecalls every night to thwart the quiet these days and I unearthed all of these ideas that he never really lets loose, but all of a sudden, his impact on this world hit me with a bang and I couldn't get enough. I can't help but feel disappointed about all of the people I've let slip away because I wasn't able to break that barrier. I'm not the most charismatic or likeable of people, and I'm easily overlooked on first impressions, and it irritates me a little that I can't instantly make people want to know more, but I overlook people too. There's so much rich man's gold in so many people and I can't even begin to comprehend why we let ourselves ignore each and every potential relationship we could develop over stupid first impressions. Sometimes I look down a street at the hundreds or thousands of people that could be milling around, and my head implodes at the thoughts of all of the lives that are buzzing around me, and all of the lives that they affect, and all of the lives that they affect, 'til we're dealing with a snowball effect and my head doesn't know which way to turn. I'm so curious about each and every person. I am a born observer and it makes it difficult to interact because sometimes I like to just sit back and see how things play out without my input because I'm so interested in the ways of other people. Sometimes there's nothing left to add, and I don't like to add if there's nothing there that's worth saying. I'd like to sit with this man each and every night for the next few years to hear the warmth in his accent and the beauty in his heart. We don't get that enough. The mighty souls.