latest older random profile notes diaryland

2016-12-28 / 10:13 p.m.

I don't really have a whole lot of friends. I don't drink anymore because it makes me depressed, and it turns out that the only reason I see most people is because it looks less dodgy to get shitfaced when other people are around.
I got a job in a factory. I rise at 4:45am on week one, and work 'til 10:10pm on week two. Spoiler alert: I hate it. Turns out I was on a hunt to hate my life, but just in a different building.
Christmas was strange. Anybody asks, I say it was lovely but honestly I can't shake the fact that I'm twenty-seven and I have no real prospects. It's killing me to live in my parent's house, but I'll never get a mortgage if I keep flitting from job to job. Besides, maybe I'll emigrate. Something I still haven't said out loud, but there you go. It's out there now.
This year has been tough in a way that I can't explain. I have more confidence now but I'm miserable. He finally said that he loves me, but I'm beginning to feel trapped now instead of wanted. I swore I'd never end up here again. But I did, because I never follow through on promises to myself.

<< >>