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2013-03-19 / 12:51 p.m.

The new boy makes me feel like shit. I've cried every day for weeks over something he's said or hasn't said. The way he ignores me, and chastises me after I haven't text back after only three minutes. Getting angry because I've fallen asleep at three in the morning. Isn't that what people do?
His mother almost died during the week and I wasn't there because he hadn't been talking to me, crossed wires and ridiculousness. Me growing a backbone like he'd always been telling me to do, and yet it was still the wrong thing to do.
He called me cold and it's probably the most difficult insult I've been on the receiving end of.
He's ruining me again and I can't walk away right now because every time I open my mouth he reminds me of how shitty a person I am and I take it and I take it again because he needs to vent.
I've had thrush for the past two months, fucking bullshit, and I'm being passed around by doctors because they don't know what to do with me and I feel so emotionally shit that I actually considered killing myself over the idea of never having a normal fucking vagina ever again because new boy is taking it as a personal attack or something that we have to use condoms. Simply because I don't want him to have to suffer this ridiculous itch and burn as well. But no, that's selfish of me. He wants me to go to see him and when I offer to, he tells me to just stay home and do my 'homework'. I tell him I'm on top of things and that it's not important and that he shouldn't worry about that and he said he's not. He tells me it's my course, my work, etc., etc., and that he doesn't care.
He makes me feel like a child, like the most selfish little child in the world. He is forever throwing tantrums and I can't handle it anymore. I don't know how people do this for most of their lives. I have never felt so small.

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