I discovered the most beautiful place in the world. I know, our perception depends on our mood and our thoughts, the company, the time and the height of the sun in the sky. Trust me, it was all perfect. I forget that I live in a country that's supposed to be one of the most beautiful places you can travel to while still staying grounded to this rock. After nineteen years, the endless hills and greenery sort of wear thin, it's just what you learn to know. I found an old abbey hidden amongst a forest. I always knew it was there, but I'd never bothered passing through the gates. I've seen so many castles and churches and ruins in my lifetime, I can't tell them apart anymore. I brought six others and it was the first time in months, maybe years that I've been in company on a Friday night and in the outdoors and not been completely fucked and unable to walk a straight line. There were cows and sheep lining the roadway the whole way down, and the fields below us were laced with a dense fog. The abbey ended up being a beautiful, tall building with a light coming from just above its main entrance. It was getting dark, the sun was setting everywhere and everything was that blue shade of dusk where you're either settling down to be the loneliest person in the world, or you're coming alive inside. There was a smell of garlic all along the river, and it reminded me of how hungry I felt. Mentally and physically. I felt so alive. I couldn't see my hand in front of me. Everything was silhouette after outline after silhouette and we stood on a bridge that crossed the river forever while some people smoked and the rest of us just breathed, quietly to ourselves, without a sound. It got so very dark as we stood on that bridge, and we wandered back through a pitch black forest. My heart was in my mouth as my friends filled my head with ghost stories about the abbey, about the evil monks and the traps they set for those who sinned. I was wearing a dress and pretty little shoes, and I got mud up my knees and my hair was falling down around my face as I kicked a football around that we'd named Sportacus. All the way home, I wanted to talk about how beautiful that place was, right down to the tiniest little detail, but most of the others sang along to the music and didn't say much of anything. I mused to myself about the world and its hidden gardens and how I've found so many of these places just in the past year by getting lost down back country lanes. There are so many hills and trees and you can never tell what's on the other side until you're right there. I can't wait 'til my parents realise that this summer's all about moving and exploring. I wish that they'd realise how important it is for me to have this time. Fuck, I'm not lazy, I swear, I'm just so curious and scared. I can't begin to fathom that I'll never see all the places worth seeing in my whole life, even if I'd never stopped from the time I was born right until the time I die. If I ever have children, I'm going to give them as much freedom as I can and teach them about the little things that make up the whole. Not about asking for the whole world, and not being satisfied when they get it. I want to live in a place where my heart beats comfortably in my chest in the company of good people and through good times.