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2011-01-04 / 2:17 a.m.

I come home after a long drive to nowhere. Circles circles circles and one thing I noticed is that there's this one road, I have no idea where it leads. It is to be an exercise in exploration.
My mother is sick with the exact same thing that I had after she looked after me so well, and you know what? I actually had the audacity to laugh when I found out. Living is becoming more and more an exercise in learning to look out for oneself, and oneself only.
I resigned to my room and began to clean or to tidy or to throw shit the fuck out because I can't sleep at all these days. Pulled out my mothers pearls and tried them on. There's a mirror right in front of where I sat and I looked and I wondered if ever I actually look like her. But you have to stop yourself sometimes, don't be so silly child. She never once wore these pearls. She's all soft spoken and country. I'm my father - all town and stupid decisions.

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