I've been driving around with music on, not hearing a single note because I'm too busy chain smoking and not paying attention to much of anything. My family don't know that I smoke and my friends don't know and my boyfriend doesn't know - not a single sinner in the world. There is only the passing realisation of a stranger as I flick the last of my ashes out the window, but they don't acknowledge it and they don't know. I've started school already and it's refreshing to be able to start all over, right from scratch. I know nobody in this town. Some girl commented on how I have the most beautiful eyes and another commented on how she felt it was too early to have said it, but she'd been thinking it too. I wanted to tell her that she had great tits but shhhh. Another time. Doing all of those awkward introductions, I was asked for a highlight of my summer and I thought of way too many inappropriate things to say so I told them all that I'd worked and I'd saved, but really, I mean really, all I did was feel sick and sad and sorry for myself. Let's not start out this way. For now, I am apprehensive and I am worried and I am nervous but I feel happy in a way that I haven't in a while. I don't remember the last time I allowed myself to feel like this.