One of my best friends in the world left this place over two years and two months ago, following her family to another place in another world. We used to spend our days hiding in her huge house in the middle of the countryside talking and talking and it wasn't always pretty or easy but it was comfortable and it was honest and I think I'll always value those days above most of anything else. We were two different people, really. One too young for her skin, the other too old. It wasn't that we were suited in any sort of conventional sense, but it worked and I loved her and cherished her and I know that she appreciated me too. I was in the depths of my worst moments when she left. She was in the worst of hers. I can't begin to tell you how much I missed her and have missed her and how lost I was without her to keep me sane. She came to see me for such a little time. Sixteen hours altogether, and for six of those we slept. She still sounds the same when she talks and sneezes just the same too. "Other people are crap", she said, and we laughed and I nodded my head. She understands. She woke me up this morning at about seven o' clock and told me that my cat is really beautiful and for some reason, it just about meant the world to me, and then she had to leave and we never really did get a chance to talk and our goodbye was kind of rushed and interrupted and then she was gone and I was left with that sad emptiness again until she called from the airport and told me that she cried when she hugged her mother goodbye and all I said was that she'd be back soon and it'd all be okay again. I feel cheated in a way that even I don't understand. I am so motherfucking lonely.