I have lost eighty-five pounds since I started all that time ago, I am new and I am lost in my body and all of a sudden I am single and now that people know, they're starting to care and I'm getting all this attention that I never really got before. I feel like every thing and everyone are out of my league, I am insecure and way out of my depth. I lost my voice three days ago, and that first night I spent in a city made of marble and traditional music. We ended up behind a man as we walked down the road, and I allowed myself to think that he was pretty darn cute and it was nice to not have to feel guilty for looking at pretty things. I danced, wandered up stairs, wandered back down, I danced more and I struggled to communicate. That night, for the first time, I felt what it was like to give myself to somebody I'd only just met. He's an adventurer and he had all these stories. We talked death. We talked heartache. I almost told him he was way out of my league. Truth be told, he was. He is. He told me he wanted my number in the morning. I told him not to take it unless he'd use it. Seven o' clock came quickly and he left for work, stealing my phone number as he left. I knew he'd never call, but it's still a kick to know that he actually hasn't and that he won't, it's not like telling myself that maybe he wants to but that he can't. I really wish he'd never given me that hope in the first place. I feel hurt, and I knew that this would happen, but in a way I'm really glad that it did so now I can really start to move on and really start to look out for myself and only myself. I'll keep touching strangers, but maybe I won't be so careless next time.